A Word From the Author

If an infinite number of monkeys given an infinite amount of time can bang out the complete works of Shakespeare, Austin Modine's delightful prose represents at least 15 years worth of keyboard-slamming simians. Minus sick days, holidays and union-mandated breaks, of course. He's not a monster.

At his fingertips, he wields the Word Document of destiny. At 8:25pm, July 18, 1993, Austin Modine wished upon a star to write memorable copy, conceive of captivating campaigns, exhibit astounding illustrations, and add his unique voice to the world. Star power trickled down from the cosmos to fulfill these humble desires. (Full disclosure: Austin also wished the Pogs phenomena would last forever, but 4/5 is still pretty good for a giant ball of hydrogen gas hundreds of light years away.)

Austin's creative talents have taken him from his hometown in Montana to the bright lights Hollywood to temperature-controlled vaults of Silicon Valley. Austin is also known to greedily absorb useless trivia, bequeath pet names to all his computers and gadgets, and drink hot tea in such quantities to suggest eldritch wizardry may be involved.